


Fall From Grace

by feverpitchfiasco



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-08
Updated: 2012-09-08
Packaged: 2017-11-13 19:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/506925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feverpitchfiasco/pseuds/feverpitchfiasco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ending of 5.22, Swan Song, from Sam's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall From Grace

**Author's Note:**

> I watched the ending and felt like writing this.

It started, and ended, with a promise. 

“Sammy. It's okay. It's okay, I'm here. I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you. I'm not gonna leave you!”

Even though Lucifer was beating the shit out of him, caving his face in. Killing him one blow at a time. Even though he had just watched Castiel explode into a cloud of blood and flesh, heard the bones in Bobby’s neck snap as he lifelessly fell to the ground. Despite me being gone, held hostage inside my own body. Despite all this; he still reached out to me and tried to comfort me. 

I screamed. I screamed so loud and so hard and yet my body didn’t twitch. Lucifer had utter control. And he taunted me. 

“ **How does it feel, Sammy? Does it feel good to bash his head in? He sure knows how to take a punch, doesn’t he? Takes it like a champ. And your body is so strong. Can you feel all the power? Your body is so strong, but your mind is so weak. I wish you would have let me show you your true potential. We could have been great together, you know. We could have carved a whole new world. But you were too weak to take it. Your weakness signed Dean’s death. He’s going to die. All. Because. Of. You.** ”

Wham. Wham. Wham. Punch after punch after punch landed on Dean’s jaw. One eye swollen shut, the other barely able to see through the veil of blood. He kept talking despite his jaw likely being broken under the fists I couldn’t control. Telling me that it was going to be okay. He was very likely seconds from being pummeled to death by my hand, and he still tried to tell ME that it would be okay. 

And all I could do was scream. 

“ **Oooh, look at this. How weak he is right now. He can’t even focus on you. He.. I think he’s staring at your right nipple. I forgot you two had THAT kind of relationship. Naughty, naughty. Oh, I know. He’s just kind of staring off into space, but still. You gotta admit it’s kinda funny. Your last memory of your brother will be him staring vaguely at your nipple while he dies. Ha. I think one more good solid punch oughta do it, don’t you agree? Let’s make it count.** ”

He drew my fist back, slowly, tightly. Like an archer taking deadly aim. As a smirk twisted the corner of his.. of my mouth, the sun glinting sharply off the Impala caught my eye. I could feel the bonds loosen. I was able to loosen my fist, although the other was still tightly grasping the lapels of Dean’s jacket. The army man stuck in the ashtray drew my attention, and memories of growing up in this car came with it. All the little things Dean and I did to personalize it into our home. The surge of emotion, the swell of love I felt for my brother and our home... It helped me regain full control over Lucifer. I let go of Dean and stumbled back.

“It’s okay, Dean. It’s gonna be okay.” I gasped the words, barely able to speak. Lucifer wasn’t happy that I had gained control over him. And he had a lot of fight in him. I’ve never heard anything like the chorus he rose in my head. Demon fury, angel song, animalistic howls all rose up in my head and challenged me. I fought back. 

“I’ve got him.”

Struggling, I fished the Horsemen’s rings from my pocket and stared at them momentarily. This was it. This was our very last chance to right everything I had wronged. Throwing them to the ground, I spoke the words that’d open the cage. As the ground sunk down and that damned vortex grew, I looked back at Dean. At the man who had raised me, been my everything. He gave me all that he had, from the day of the fire onward. His life ended that day. I realized that then. Dean didn’t have anything approaching a life from that moment. He was on life support. I breathed for him, I ate for him, I experienced everything for him. As if we were attached by an umbilical cord, he took what remained after I got what I needed. 

I knew what I had to do, but I still sought his guidance. I needed him to tell me that this was okay. I needed his approval. I could see the shards of his breaking heart. It only made it worse. 

“Sam!” Michael’s voice rang out over the din of the open gate. Of course he’d try to stop me. He had his destiny to fulfill and he wasn’t about to let some meddling mortal stand in his way. Fighting Lucifer, screaming away in my head, as well as Michael outwardly was almost too much for me. The breath ripped from my lungs as fast as I could suck it in. I felt full to bursting yet empty and barren. 

It would have been so easy to give in. To let Lucifer take over and watch the battle unfold. But I couldn’t do that to Dean. He deserved a world to live in. He deserved happiness. He deserved _life_. I could feel Lucifer inside me, crazy against the edges of my mind. This incensed and bitter angel inside my head. I remembered my own struggle anger and hatred. He may as well have been me. Perhaps that’s why I was his chosen vessel. The parallels were abundant, to say the least. 

And so this fallen angel took a dive with his tainted grace.


End file.
